If woman earns more than a man…
Why men do not love woman- businessmen and woman- politicians? It can be, because those, in their opinion do climb not into their region? But can, because woman on the command posts does lose the droplet of femininity?
I think that they simply fear man. They fear female success, since they became accustomed in the depth of soul, frequently, without acknowledging to itself in this, to depreciate woman. The social success of woman as if places under a question their own talents and possibility to be successful – man pride (self-appraisal) suffers. It is possible, also, to recall about the notorious man chauvinism and the patriarchal abutments of the society: the socially sanctioned means of man as defender, extractor and breadwinner of family – this means is living and to this day and has a significant effect on soul, by the way, not only men, but also women. With respect to superfluous [maskulizirovannosti] of socially active women, probably it is possible to argue: how about the certain general tendency – we undoubtedly can about this speak, but perhaps there does not exist the women of those playing the significant social roles and in this case preserving its female potential? It is more than that, I would note and the fact that some aspects of femininity cannot be opened, completely, out of the measurement of the social activity of woman and her social success. At the end, ends, give let us recall, that once (but in some cultures and to this day) the civilization was matriarchal, that, in my view, confirms the thought about the significant (at present in many respects not opened) potential of the leading social role of woman.
It is remembered, one woman told me: “If you real man, means – you must earn more than me”. And to me from these words it was for some reason terribly unpleasant. But other once said: “If you could me ensure, I would be to you grow prettier by wife”.
It for some reason seems me that these are is two sides of one medal.
When I hear similar things, is created impression, that people, it seems, lose orientators in understanding themselves and that, whom they must (or they can) be. What does mean to be real man? Or by real woman? Who will take upon itself risk, being located in the sensible mind, to establish the authentic size of man or female behavior? It seems that people to a considerable degree of [otchuzhdeny] from themselves, are deprived of understanding their destination and, therefore, are disoriented and in order, to avoid vertigo and loss equilibria, they are caught for the certain conventional, kept balance stereotypes “of man” and “the female”.
Money (and their quantity) – one of such stereotypes, which refer to the measurement of symbolic in our life. Yes money became the symbol of force, might, success and… masculinity. Occurred focus – by money, it occurs, it is possible to now measure the masculinity as a quantity of potato with kilograms. Confluence of the means of masculinity with the means of money – extremely harmful for the man (both for the man and for the woman) tendency. I would name this process “the corruption” of masculinity. By the corruption, into which, alas, is introduced their contribution and women themselves when speak similar (“if you real man, means – you it must earn more than me” or “if you it could me ensure, I it would be to you grow prettier by wife”).
No, the element of competition is, naturally, inevitable. You will recall at least anecdotes about the women after the control. But you will agree, this competition is mutual. And it seems many men that the female peace declared war them, attempting to prove their insolvency. But what to make, when this war does begin in family herself?
Even if is something destructive for the woman (destructive for her femininity) in its desire of social success and acknowledgement, then this competition with the men, competition, which is fed by envy for the man and his achievements. This envy, partly, is justified, if we recall about the man chauvinism and the women discrimination, but in certain cases, this feeling is absolutely irrational and is based on the neurotic experiences of those referring to the early (children’s), unsolved internal conflicts of woman with respect to the adoption of its female role. As far as men are concerned, them do not also go around by side irrational fears connected with the woman. The long years of the dependence of small boy on the woman (mother or grandmother) superimpose their imprint on the psyche of the man: in the depth of his soul the man always experiences conflict, conflict between the desire of dependence and subordination to woman and of dissolution in its children’s “I” and the desire of riot against the authority of mother (and of woman, generally) and fear, that this riot and independence they will prove to be are not accessible, first in view of exceptional authority women, then whether in view of its own intensive desires will obey the authority of woman.
In the families the, as a rule, described dynamics occurs to be, in the concealed, frequently unconscious form, as a rule, without violating the borders of adequate rational relations. But if the described conflicts, in view of some external or internal factors, become not controlled – appears the agonizing state of hostility or war, which, however, is not deprived of the secret of the enjoyment of [otreagirovaniya] with respect to the partner of vindictive and malicious feelings.
In the family everything was wonderfully. Husband earned money, wife sat with two children, sometimes substituted by grandmother. Idyll ended, when wife was banal to work in the specialty and career takeoff began in it. First husband joked, then he began to grumble, and when the wage of wife began to considerably exceed his own, in the family began the unmotivated scandals. Moreover it was basic motive: “you do not love me”, “in you someone exists” and the rest from the side of husband. The husband of beginnings is more rarely to occur house, then he washed down, and all assurances of wife “everything will be good”, they did not act. Now family to the face of divorce, plus to that, husband any minute now they will expel from the work. What to make to woman in this situation?
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